Mohammed Alyahya
WG2: Miss Song
June 3 2014
My friend
An
important person to me was my friend.
His name is Suleiman. He studied with me in the high school, after we finished
the high school I came to U.S, but he completed study in Saudi Arabia. After I
came to U.S in three months , he died. I was very sad when he died. He was born
in Qassim. He did not get a job because he studied. He died last four months ago. I wished he did not
die, but all the people will die. He is important to me because he is a good friend.
This is a good paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThis is good paragraph.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened with your friend? Why did he die?
ReplyDeleteI am sorry about your friend.
ReplyDeleteYou have this mistake. Look at this part: After I came to U.S. in three months.
you can say(After I came to U.S.three months ago.
All in all, your paragraph is perfect.
Actually he made an accident
ReplyDeleteThank you for tell me the mistake
ReplyDeleteAnd ask me and check my paragraph.
Sorry to hear about your friend. I'll pray for him.
ReplyDeletePlease look at this sentence. This is too long.
"He studied with me in the high school, after we finished the high school I came to U.S, but he completed study in Saudi Arabia."
You can change it to "He studied with me in high school. After we finished high school, I came to the U.S., but he completed his study in Saudi Arabia."
Thank you miss Song I will Chang this now.
ReplyDelete